Top 10 Credos of Klingon Programmer
By Angsuman Chakraborty, Gaea News NetworkThursday, February 7, 2008
Top 10 credos of a Klingon programmer covering (Klingon) Software Development Life Cycle:
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- You cannot really appreciate ‘User Friendly’ until you’ve read it in the original Klingon.
- A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
- Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!
- Indentation? - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
- By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. PREPARE TO DIE!
- What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not release software. Our software ‘escapes’, leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
- Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say that we ship it!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Let them use it without a manual or let them flee like the dogs they are!
- Adapted from source.
Oh and here’s a bonus - I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a bat’leth contest. They will not concern us again.
Are you a Klingon programmer?
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