Algorithm For Hiring At Taragana

It is hiring time again! Srini has devised an algorithm for hiring at Taragana which I think very appropriately describes our hiring funnel:

if (isClueless()) {
    goToIBM();
} else if (runOfTheMill()) {
    goToWipro();
} else if (thinkUMLIsDesign() && bigAmbitionToBeADesigner() &&
    chooseVariableNamesLikeTheLengthOfThisOne()) {

    goToAccenture();
} else if ( appreciateDesign() && (knowJava() || knowPHP()) && isTrueDeveloper()) {
    welcome();
}

If that looks like you and you are located in India (or willing to relocate) please send your resume to hiring[at]taragana[dot]com.

Note: No animals or companies were harmed in the making of this algorithm.